I saw the sunrise this morning, just as beautiful as I remember from a few days prior. As far as I know I’m the only Kindred that can make the claim (while not bursting into flames for the viewing) and I can’t help but think it’s completely wasted on me. It’s been 48 hours since I last felt the suns warmth which is a fraction of a second compared to the other Kindred in this house. I wish I could have put one of them in my place. Maybe I still can.
Valko was surprisingly forward with me when we spoke about my place in the city and I began to lay out some of my designs. Kindred society is so cloak and dagger that I thought talking about any machinations, even among the Family, would be taboo. Once again the family proves that I’m the one having a hard time adjusting to them, not the other way around. I just keep waiting for the bottom to fall out like it always does. The second I become comfortable somewhere, when I let my guard down, i usually when I get burned the hardest. I know this is different and I know the Family is forever but I just can’t shake the feeling. Like the human part of me is having a hard time letting go.
I’m honored Alexander let me plan the confrontation with the Witches. I don’t think I could find the words to express how humbled I am that the greatest military mind that ever lived is trusting me with what he values most on probably the most dangerous encounter the Family has ever had. I know that teaming up with the Mages is the last thing Alexander had in mind but that’s why I think this is going to work. I know the Witches have been watching for a hundred years and that they can spy on us with nothing short of clairvoyant accuracy. That’s why we need to come at them sideways, hit them when we’re prepared and they aren’t. Most importantly we need to do something completely unexpected to throw them off and give ourselves the best advantage possible and I know working with Mages is the last thing they’d expect.
Still I’m worried about the upcoming conflict. I know everyone in the Family is a hell of a scrapper but against creatures that can drum up sunlight in the palm of their hands? That kind of power seems so limitless and overwhelming compared to the rigid structure of our own Disciplines. If we do come to blows with the Witches whether or not we win the day will probably set my precedence with the Family henceforth. I’ve been over the details a dozen times and I’m confident in the plan but I could always use more information. I don’t know what members of the Family are truly capable of. I don’t know how well they fight or what their dynamics are among one another. All of those variables are things I can’t account for which might mean the difference between life and death and it’s been eating at the back of my mind. Still, Alexander entrusted this to me and I’m going to see it through. Human me was always nervous before a big op like this, but Kindred me? I can feel the beast on the inside and it’s anxious for the fight. Valco said I should trust the beast to know what’s right and my instincts say this is the way to go.
I’ve been thinking about what happens if we are able to capture one of the Witches. How would we hold her? Could we convince her to help us? How could she possibly be trustworthy after one of her own attempted to kill us? It’s a long shot but if things are what they appear to be, if I can make this work and bring this Witch on board, maybe she can do for the others what she did for me. If that’s the case then I’ll be able to give the Family something they never even dreamed they could have. I know the scope of all this has a reach well beyond what I should be handling but i still can’t help chasing the rabbit.